[stickman]

After talking to Sassy Frass's friend MOM on the phone and getting details, it seems that DAD (if you want to call him that) is about 10 - 11 months behind on child support for three children @ $900/month ($300/month per child). That's a prettty hefty chunk of change! This does not include the interest that should/will be tacked on for late payments. What suprises me the most is that DAD has filed for a modification of child support citing he has no income. Knowing who he is, who his family is, and the businesses they own, assessing DAD's current living & family arrangements, and the fact that he has a child on the way with the new wife, I find it really hard to believe the boy is not gainfully employed or has no visible means of income. I think his filing for modification of child support is a BIG mistake on his part because when he gets in that courtroom and the judge finds out he's behind in his child support, he will most likely buy a trip to jail. If he tries to pull the "I have no job and no income" as a defense, the judge is going to look at all the same areas I have evaluated and see right through this smokescreen. If in fact the boy has no job, the judge will either tell him to find a job real quick or put him in jail and put him on work release until he gets his child support paid up. I think if or when the judge finds out Rusty Nichols has been cutting him some slack on this by putting MOM off will only sink dear old DAD deeper in trouble. IF Rusty Nichols has, in fact, been aiding and abetting deadbeat DAD in his efforts to evade his fiduciary responsibilities towards his children, he was wrong for doing so.

DAD has asked for a defined child visitation order, stating that MOM is refusing to let him have the children. He says (according to the court papers) that she is not allowing the children visitation with DAD. She on the other hand, tells me DAD is not putting forth the effort to see his children and wants MOM to go out of her way to facilitate visitation (ie: bring the children to him) instead of at least meeting her halfway, or if she brings them to him, he brings them home. She cites several instances where he was suppose to pick the children up on the weekend and either didn't show, or called and offered the children some lame excuse as to why he was not coming to get them.

MOM cited a recent phone call to one of the children from DAD where he outright told one of the children that their "Poppy" (grandfather) was dead. This was WRONG and TRAUMATIZING to the child! DAD should have had the decency to have told MOM about this and let her break the news to the children.

MOM has a few other tricks up her sleeve that I will not reveal here. I hope that MOM gets the justice she is looking for when she gets to court. She's gonna have an uphill battle in Marengo County because the deck is stacked against her here. It seems that DAD's family has some influence in the courthouse and is trying to pull some favorable treatment for what seems to be stacking up as an otherwise sorry excuse for a father. Then and again, maybe I should hold my judgement until I hear the other side of this story.

My advice to MOM in this issue is: Stick to your guns. You got him by the kahones regardless of what others tend to try to lead you to believe. Don't back down and don't take any sidebar or cut-rate settlements. Just be cool, work with your attorney (since DHR apparently is not going to step up to bat) and bide your time peacefully.

My advice to DAD based on what I know of this deal: GROW UP! You are acting like a selfish spoiled brat! You need to stop and think about what you are doing to your children! Regardless of what has happened between you and MOM, you are going to have to put your differences aside and work toward what's best for your children. If you continue your current course, when you get old and ready to die, you are going to have three children (and possibly four if you do with the new one on the way what you have done with the three you already have) that will let you go to your grave hating you and glad you're dead and gone. If you alienate your children, you may never know the joys of being a grandparent. You are most likely to die a miserable, lonely old man who died wishing he could go back and change it all. You can make the change now if you wanted to. Question is, are you still a immature spoiled brat child masquerading as a man, or are you a MAN? Should you choose immature spoiled brat child, then change nothing and continue to do what you're doing now. If you choose MAN, let's see you step up to the plate, make changes, and do what we know is the right thing to do without punishing the mother and the children.

As a footnote to this thread / post, I am struggling with the debate whether or not to pubicly identify the "Deadbeat Dad" in this case. DHR has "Deadbeat Dad Wanted Posters" for those who choose to shuck their responsibilities to their children. Nothing would be more embarrassing than for all his friends to know such a fiend lurks amongst them. I think if DAD's friends knew what he was doing to the ex-wife and children, they would exert peer pressure for him to step up and do the right thing.


Stickman